How the Book of Job went from a Bible study I was teaching to a lesson I suddenly had to live.

There are moments in life that divide your story into before and after.

Before the phone call.
Before the diagnosis.
Before the hospital room.
Before the moment that changed everything.

For me, that moment came through my daughter, Jayla, affectionately known as Bug.

One day, life was moving as it normally did. We were living, laughing, making plans and celebrating new life. Then suddenly, without warning, everything shifted.

That’s the thing about the unexpected: it doesn’t make an appointment.

It doesn’t check your calendar. It doesn’t ask whether you’re emotionally prepared.

It doesn’t care that you already have plans for tomorrow.

Sometimes life changes between one breath and the next.

And Then My Bible Study Became My Life

What makes this season even more profound for me is what I had been teaching before any of this happened.

For months, the women of Her Bible & Her Journal and I had been studying Job.

Our Bible study topic was:

“Sis… If God Loves Me, Why Does He Let Satan Hurt Me?”

We talked about Job’s faith. We talked about his suffering. We talked about how quickly his circumstances changed. We discussed what it means to trust God when what you’re experiencing doesn’t seem to line up with what you know about His character.

I taught that lesson. I studied that lesson. I took notes on that lesson. I encouraged other women through that lesson, and then suddenly I had to live the lesson.

Life shifted for Job without warning, and in what felt like an instant, mine did too.

One moment Job was living his normal life. Then message after message came bringing news that would completely change his world and although my story is not Job’s story, I now understand something about his experience that I couldn’t fully understand from simply reading the pages.

It’s different when the lesson becomes your life.

Job Reads Differently From a Hospital Room

There is a difference between reading about suffering when life is comfortable and opening your Bible when your own heart is hurting.

There is a difference between teaching somebody else, “Trust God even when you don’t understand,” and having to whisper those same words to yourself.

There is a difference between preaching faith and needing every ounce of the faith you’ve been preaching about.

Suddenly, Job wasn’t just a Bible character to me.

His questions made sense. His grief made sense. His confusion made sense.

And most importantly, his determination to keep reaching toward God made sense.

There have been moments during this journey with Bug when I have prayed boldly.

There have also been moments when I’ve cried.

Moments when I’ve been exhausted.

Moments when I’ve wanted answers.

Moments when all I could do was sit quietly and look at my daughter.

And I’ve learned that none of those moments mean I don’t have faith.

Faith doesn’t mean you never cry. Faith means you know Who to cry to.

I Didn’t Know I Was Studying for a Test

Sometimes I think about the timing of everything.

Why Job?

Why this particular Bible study?

Why were we studying suffering, spiritual warfare, faith and trusting God when you don’t understand what He’s allowing?

I don’t believe studying Job caused what happened to Bug. And I would never suggest that every tragedy has a simple explanation we can identify.

But I can say this:

The Word I studied before the storm became the Word holding me during the storm.

I thought I was preparing Bible study notes.

God was putting Scripture inside of me that I would desperately need.

I thought I was preparing to encourage other women.

I didn’t know some of those same words would come back and encourage me.

That’s why we have to put God’s Word in our hearts before the unexpected happens.

Because sometimes you won’t have the strength to search for a scripture.

Sometimes you’ll need the scripture that’s already inside you.

I Don’t Know the Ending While I’m Living the Middle

One of the hardest things about reading Job is that we know how the book ends.

Job didn’t.

We can turn the pages.

Job had to live the days.

And that realization has stayed with me.

I can’t flip ahead to the final chapter of Bug’s journey.

I can’t read tomorrow’s medical report today.

I can’t skip the difficult pages and jump straight to the testimony.

I have to live the middle.

And maybe that’s where faith becomes real.

Trusting God when you already know the outcome is one thing.

Trusting Him while the story is still being written is something entirely different.

So right now, I’m journaling from the middle.

I’m writing while we’re still believing.

I’m writing while we’re still praying.

I’m writing while there are still questions.

I’m writing while God is still writing Bug’s story.

And I am choosing to believe that this chapter is not the whole book.

Psalm 46:1 (KJV):
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”